The Joys of Womanhood
by Karren
Summary: Steph Newly married to Ranger has her first period with him as her husband and with the Merry Men. Will they be able to handle a very emotional woman? Can Ranger help his new wife?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own anything of Janet Evanovich or Tastykakes, rite aid, Wawa or 7-11

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Chapter 1

When I was about 11 years old my mom came to me and told me that soon I would have a monthly visitor coming to see me. I was excited thinking someone would come each month just to see me.

I wondered who it could be. I thought of Granma and Grandpa Mazur, but I see them almost every day, so it can't be them. My mother had me sit next to her on my bed as she placed a motherly arm around my small shoulders.

"Stephanie each month you will be visited by something called a period" she said to me

"What's a period?" I asked

"It's a wonderful, beautiful thing" My mother said " it means when it shows up your growing up to be a woman and someday when your older and married to a nice man from the burg you'll be able to have babies. It's like when you're younger you lose your baby teeth and now you have adult teeth. It's just another phase in life"

My mother hugged me and kissed me on the heads as I shook my head in agreement to this period visitor. Nineteen years later my mother was a LIAR.

It's not a beautiful wonderful thing. OH NO Mother Nature is one mean Bitch. Coming around the worse possible times just like this morning. I was lying in bed watching my new husband of exactly one month Carlos AKA Ranger getting ready for the gym. I rolled over to my right side as he went into the bathroom. I was laying there thinking about the mind blowing sex we had last night when a pain shot thru my girly parts. Rolling over I clamped my hand over it, buried my head in the bed sheet, and cried out in pain.

"OH God not now" I said as I heard Ranger flush the toilet

I righted myself in the bed even though the cramps were still going strong. I just didn't want Ranger to know anything about it yet. I watched as my husband came out and walk over to me.

"Babe I'm going to shower in the locker room. I have home inspections all day and won't be home till 6pm" he says grabbing extra clothes

YES, ! I thought to myself. He'll be gone all day and I won't have to tell him. Oh he'll figure my cycle out soon enough but since the last incident when I was sitting on the couch with him when Dickhead was missing, id been very careful not to be around or if I was id be doped up on Midol and chocolate. He knows I have a period but what he doesn't have to know is when.

"Okey Doakey" I said and saw him smile at me

Ranger leaned down and slowly kissed me. Even thought my insides were all clinched in knots, his kiss made me a puddle of goo.

"Are you all right Babe?" he asked me

"Yea I'm fine, why you ask?" I asked panicking

"Just something seemed off" he tells me

"I'm just tired, was up late last night you know" and I see his wolf grin come across his face

"Yes I do know and you were insatiable, I don't know what came over you Babe" he said

"I don't know maybe it's the workouts I've been doing since we came back from our honeymoon" I tell him

"Steph that's only been 3 weeks and you don't do it every day" he says

"Ok, so maybe it's because I'm married to a hot Sexy bad ass Cuban and I can't get enough of him" I say

"Ok ill take that" he said walking to the bedroom to leave

"I love you Carlos" I called to him

Ranger stopped dead in his tracks with his hand on the door knob. He turned around and I saw desire had filled his eyes when he looked at me. He crossed the room in one big stride and kissed me, pinning me to the bed.

"I love you Stephanie Manoso" he said after the kiss

When I heard Ranger shut the front door to the apartment I waited a few minutes then I ran into the office for a calendar. Finding one I flipped it to June.

"Damn" I said as I counted back

I had stopped my period the day before my wedding. Today was July 3rd, a month exactly from when I started a week before my wedding. So sometime today I'll start. I should have known all the signs were there. I guess I'd been so busy with the wedding, reception, honeymoon, coming home and settling in. Well now I know and I'm hearing Mother Nature that Bitch loud and clear.

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Chapter 2

I finally made my way into the bathroom where I took a hot shower in hopes it would untangle my insides. Working for RangeMan now I slipped on my black bra and panties and then pulled on my cargo pants and RangeMan shirt. I was in the bathroom talking to myself as I did my hair.

"I know you like to see my curls but today is gonna be a messy bun, pony tail day" I say to Ranger even though he wasn't even in the building now

I grabbed my big shoulder bad that housed all my goodies and slung it over my shoulder. I stopped to think should I raid my stash of tampons but I decided against it because I usually always keep a small pack in my bag. I remoted the door locked and punched myself to the 5th floor.

By the time the door dinged letting me know I was there a massive cramp seized my insides up. Bending over I clinched each side of myself and held my breath and closed my eyes.

"Umm Mrs. Manoso Ma'am are you ok?" someone asked me

"Stephanie" I managed out finally looking to see Brett standing there "and yes I'm ok"

Stepping out of the elevator I made my way to the new office Ranger had set up for me. I flopped down into my big leather chair and sighed. I popped open my button on my cargo's and rubbed my stomach.

"I hate you, you know that right? Not only do I live with the hottest MAN on earth but I totally forgot about the Merry Men out there" I said and I swear I heard Mother Nature laugh evilly

"Ill pay you back" I said

"Oh yea how?" nature asked by kicking my fallopian tubes

"Ill get a hysterectomy" I said

"Than you'll have no babies by you Cuban sex God" she said

"Birth control" I said

"Again no babies" she countered

"Dammitt!! Why do you pour this vile curse on me?" I ask

"Well you see when Adam and Eve...." she began

"Yea, yea, yea" I said

"STEPH" I heard Tank shout

"WHAT?" I snapped coming back to reality and saw Tank back back a little

"You've been sitting there talking to yourself for about 20 mins are you ok?" he asked me

"I'm just peachy" I faked smile and he went back to work

I snapped my pants back together and headed to the common kitchen for something to eat. I prowled around and saw nothing but veggie sticks and sandwiches. Slamming the door shut I growled my frustrations.

"Why the hell are there no brownies?" I said "who's the genius that always has to be healthy?"

I looked around me and saw four sets of eyes staring at me. Ramon looked like he was biting the inside of his jaw to keep from laughing. I glared at him and then realized who that genius just happened to be.

"Ha-ha never mind" I said as I walked out of the kitchen and back to my office

I rummaged everywhere in my desk because I knew I had stashed some sweets in there. Not finding them I knew just who had taken them.

"TANK" I yelled

"Yes?"

"Ummm did my husband take something's from my office?" I asked

"Like what?"

"Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about" I tell him

I watched as the big tough black man stood in front of me sweating profusely from nerves. This was a fun thing to watch and see.

"Well" I snapped

"Ranger made me. He said if everyone saw you enjoying your sweets it would undermined what he and we have done here" he tells me

"I see" I say and he slinks away

I called my darling husband of one month to chew him out. I was bloated, I had a headache and cramps, and I needed chocolate BAD. It's a damn good thing he never answered.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 3

(Lester's POV)

"I swear I'm calling him" I said "something's up"

"Dude you know Ranger doesn't want to be disturbed during home inspections" Cal told me

"Did you just not hear her lay into Hal for sneezing?" I ask raking my phone out

"Your funeral" he tells me as I hit send

"WHAT?" Ranger asked

"Sir are you and Bombshell ok?" I ask and Cal looks at me

"If your referring about Stephanie my wife, which is none of your bossiness Santos then yes everything is ok, why?" he asked me

"Because sir ever since she came on deck she's been a holy terror. She just ripped Hal a new asshole for sneezing" I tell him

"Ok, she's probably just cranky from cabin fever. Take her out to get Conroy, he's always fun and Santos DONT let anything happen to her" he tells me

"I won't" I said and we disconnected

Steph and I went out after Conroy and it was a nightmare. I couldn't believe that I had to actually drag Steph out of the house we were in and put her in the truck so she would stop kicking the shit out of the fugitive.

"Ok I love you Bombshell but we do not assault the fugitives unless there is a good reason too." I tell her shocked at her behavior

"He so deserved it" she said looking out the window

"And why?" I asked her

What she did next shocked the hell out of me, she burst into tears. "He called me fat" she said and leaned over and cried on my shoulder. I had to pull over on the side of the rode and pull her into a hug.

"Hey it's ok, you're not fat" I tell her trying to get her to stop crying

Steph cried for a long time as I held her. If Ranger knew this he wouldn't be happy. Her sobs stopped and all was quiet. I was going to pull away from her and start the car again when she sucked in a breath and grabbed herself.

"Steph are you ok?" I asked

"Can you take me to the nearest 7-11 or Wawa?" she asked me

"Uhh yea sure" I said as I pulled away from the curb

(End of Lester's POV)

Lester and I walked into the 7-11. I told him I was going to use the bathroom. What I was really going to do was use a tampon. As I sat there I looked all over inside my bag and for the life of me I couldn't find on single damn tampon. I looked up to the ceiling and yelled.

"You know this is really starting to piss me off"

Somehow now I was going to have to find away to slip a box of them by Lester. I looked around and grabbed the first ones I saw. I ran to the clerk showed them what I had and threw a 10 on the counter.

"Keep the change" I yelled as I ran back to the bathroom

Coming out a few minutes later I felt a little better at being at least protected. I proceed to grab candy bars, tastykakes, anything chocolate. Lester came up to me with horror in his eyes.

"You say anything or steal any, ill hunt you down, got it?"

"Got it, but Ranger" he said

"Don't worry about him. I'll deal with Mr. Manoso" I told him


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 4

We made it back to RangeMan where for the next hour I had my head down on my desk near tears I hurt so bad. I knew I couldn't just sit there and not so any work so I forced myself to do some reports and some light searches Ranger asked me to do.

While I was on the next to the last file I heard movements around my door. It was getting very annoying, if they had something they needed or wanted why don't they just knock and come in? Having enough I stalked over to my office door, opening it to find Lester, Tank, Hal, Cal, Binkie, Ram, and Brett. This infuriated me.

"If you all value your penis'es I suggest you move away from my door right now" I said

I grinned watching them place their hands in front of their groins and slink away. When the crowd of Merry Men dispersed I saw what I hoped to be my savior, Bobby Brown. I got his attention by waving to him and then I waved him over. To me he looked like he cringed when he saw me but he came over to me anyways.

"Bobby do we have a heating pad?" I asked praying to God he said yes

"No we don't, are you ok should I check you over?" he asked getting a worried look on his face. Heaven forbid if anything happened to Rangers wife on their watch

"Uh no I just thought maybe we should have one for the men" I said

"Ill discuss it with Ranger at our next meeting" he said

"Oh not nessacery" I say going back into my office

As soon as I knew Bobby was gone I grabbed a set of keys off my Husbands desk and went down stairs. I was to tell control I was leaving but I really didn't want too, I wanted to be left alone. I slid behind the wheel of the Cayenne and moved up the ramp onto Haywood. A minute later my phone rang. DAMMITT!!

"YES" I barked in to the speaker

"Mrs. Manoso we have you driving down Haywood" the voice said

"It's STEPHANIE and yes I'm stepping out for a minute if that's ok with you" I say to the voice

"Yes Mrs. uhh Stephanie but we were informed that there was to be someone with you at all times when you leave the building. What's your destination" I was asked

"I'm sorry could you repeat I didn't hear you" I said shutting my phone and GPS off in the car

I parked into the Rite Aides parking lot. I asked the clerk at the front register where they kept their heating pads and she told me they were in isle 8. I went to them and read and picked one that promised me that helped relieve menstrual pain. Going into the feminine products isle next I grabbed the biggest box of extra strength Midol I could find. I carried everything up to the front to pay.

"Ohh one of them weeks huh?" the clerk asked

"Ohh yea" I told her handing over my new credit card

"Mother Nature is a Bitch" she said

"You got that right" I said getting my bag and signing my credit slip

I slipped the card back into my pocket and took my bag. The clerk bid me a good day and I walked out. I was feeling bad so I headed back to Range Man. When I got back on 5 it felt hot and stuffy and it smelled like sweat. I walked thru the cubicles wondering where everyone was when Tank appeared.

"OH THANK GOD YOUR HERE!! " he said "I deployed all of RangeMan to find you"

"I can go to the store. It's not a big deal" I huffed at him

"It is a big deal now since your Rangers wife. You have no idea what he'd do to us if something happened......" he was saying and I blew

"GOOD GOD HES JUST A DAMN MAN. I CAN GO TO THE FRIKEN STORE IF I WANT TO" I screamed not seeing that all the men had come back

I stomped to my office and grabbed my candy bag. When I came back out Tank had gone white if that's at all possible. I stood there and looked at him.

"Now I'm going up to 7 when I'm spending the rest of the say alone. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is to bother me. Got it?" I asked him

"Yes" he said and I walked off to the elevator. When I looked back the rest of the men were with Tank watching me leave

I got inside my now apartment and locked the door behind me. I carried my bags into the kitchen and sat them down on the counter. I took the Midol box out and ripped it open; filling a glass with tap water I swallowed two pills down.

I grabbed a big bowl and dumped my candy bag into it. Looking down at it, it reminded me of my favorite holiday, Halloween. Walking into my bedroom I plugged the heating pad in climbed onto the bed and placed it over my stomach and my girly parts. Grabbing a candy bar I was on my way to chocolate heaven.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 5

(Rangers POV)

Driving back to RangeMan, I was exhausted from a day of home tours and inspections. All I wanted to do was make sure control was ok and collect Steph so she and I can have a nice shower and Dinner.

When I parked the Turbo I saw Brown and Santos in the garage. Coming up on them I saw they looked haggard. When they saw me they both turned to get onto the open elevator car.

"Brown, Santos" I called to them and they stopped in their tracks

"Sir" they both said not meeting my eyes

"Report" I asked and they looked at each other causing me to know something was going on

Neither one of them said a word to me I was getting angry. I was too tired to play their shit. I took Santos by the shirt and hauled him to me.

"Talk now" I said but he looked away from me and that really pissed me off

"Santos, I swear to God you don't tell me what's going on I'm going to snap you like a twig" I say and Bobby speaks up

"Its Stephanie Sir" he said and I drop Lester to the ground thinking something was wrong with my wife

"Please just listen" Bobby asked me

I stood there and listened to my men tell me how a tyrant my wide had been. How she mowed over Hal and Tank. How she assaulted Conroy and sobbed in the truck with Santos. I assured them id get to the bottom of her behavior and that it would never happen again. I rode up to five and check Stephs office finding it empty. I looked around and saw all my men with their heads down and their legs crossed.

"Babe" I said and shook my head

Riding the elevator up to 7 I let myself into the apartment. I went into the kitchen for a drink when I saw a pale purple box torn on the counter. Picking it up I read the word MIDOL for relief of cramps, bloating, and fatigue.

"AHHH, so this is what's messing with you" I said tossing the box into the trash. My mystery solved

Making my way to the bedroom I slowly open the door incase a shoe came flying at me. What I did see made me laugh. My wife was dressed in my sweat pants, my t shirt, her hair all tousled, with candy wrappers, tastykake wrappers, and a cord coming from her stomach all curled up into a fetal position. Moving to the bed I saw she was asleep or more than likely in a sugar induced coma. Cleaning the wrappers off the bed I climbed in with her.

"Ranger?" she asked coming awake

"Yes Babe" I said kissing her head and taking her heating pad away

"Nooooo I need that" she whimpered protesting

"Shhhhh Babe" I comforted as I slid my hand into her pants and massaged her

"So when did you actually start?" I asked

"About an hour ago as I lay here eating my candy" she told me then looked at me in horror

"How did you...."

"I saw the Midol box on the kitchen counter"

"Ohhhhhh" she said

"Babe you really went thru my men downstairs. They are all shell-shocked" I tell her silently laughing that my little wife took down a building of big strong men

"I know and I'm very sorry. Ohhhhhh that feels good" she says lying back in my arms as I continue to massage her

"Steph I know what happened and in all fairness I can't have you treat my men like that. I depend on them and also they can't help you if they are scared of you, so until your done being this way I don't want you to work" I tell her

"Well at least your good for something" I hear her say looking up at the ceiling

"What?" I asked

"Nothing" she says and kisses me

"Steph why didn't you tell me you were cycling?" I asked her

"Well it's nothing to you, it's a woman thing. I knew after we have been married for a while you'd catch on to the timing but just not the first one. It's embarrassing" she said

"Babe we are married now. What happens to you happens to me. I want to share anything and everything. Ok?" I tell her

"Everything?"

"Everything" I tell her kissing her sweet lips and running my free hand over her cheek

"We can't" she said

"Why not?" I asked

"Because, you know" she said going red

"Like I told you before it won't stop me from wanting to be with you" I remind her

"Really?" she asked

"I don't mind if you don't" I tell her as my mouth claimed hers in a passion filled kiss

THE END???


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